Episode 30/Transcript

UN General: I'm sorry, but... what did you say your name was again? Von Duct: Um... Professor Von Duct. UN General: Right. If there was this giant "space laser", we'd be surrendering the world every five minutes. (they hang up) Kim: (muffled noises) Von Duct: What?! (rips the tape off of Kim's mouth) Kim: (laughing) It's really hard to laugh at you with that duct tape on my mouth! Von Duct: Ugh, shut up. Kim: (mockingly) "I'm ze world's most powerful zupervillain"! (laughs) Von Duct: You're a mean woman! Clone Brock: (enters) Bang bang bang! Havoc: Godammit Brock! Did you have to bring your clone? Brock: What? If I leave him at home, he shits on the rug! Dr. Havoc: You don't actually believe you're gonna take over the world, right? It's impossible. Von Duct: What are you talking about? You spent your entire life trying to take over the world. Dr. Havoc: Yeah. But I know I'm not going to. The game is rigged, Von Duct. Villains don't win. It's impossible. Somebody will always stop us. And deep down, I've always known that. Every morning, I get up knowing I'm gonna lose. But I keep trying, and you know why? Because I fucking hate myself. Just like you hate yourself. The reason why we're villains, is because we're fucking losers. And the world knows it. And we... hate them for that. Because deep down, we know they're right. Villains are just people who think they're important and can't stand that the world doesn't see it. All this? This is about two guys who can't admit what they've always known... That we are fucking. Losers. And we always will be. Kim: Jesus, Darren... Kim: Brock! Von Duct: Wait, who is that? Kim: (attacks Von Duct) Clone Brock: Pop Pop... Havoc: It's okay, Brock. I'll just grow you another one. Brock: It won't be the same, Havoc! Havoc: It will be exactly the same! Havoc: Brock, a vasectomy prevents you from having kids, it doesn't protect you from STDs! Brock: It doesn't? Kim: No! Havoc: Which means, you can't be Ally's father! UN General: You win. Havoc: I... win?